Hi there dad-to-be and future birth coach. We’re speaking to you. We want to introduce you to all the lessons developed equally by other dads who took their role as man, partner and dad-to-be very seriously. And you should! In reality you live within your own mind and heart. As a human being, man, partner and dad-to-be you want to do the right thing but you need to know the ‘how-to’. Who is teaching you?
Are women really different?
Nah! Sure your partner is pregnant and you’re not. Well, that’s not true. Her pregnancy impacts you! But in reality you BOTH blink, cough and can tighten up your rectum. Take this information very seriously because birth is merely an exercise in plumbing. There’s a big object … your baby that has to come down, through and out a container … your partner’s body. This makes the whole pregnancy and birth process a hell of a lot simpler to dads-to-be to wrap their heads around.
Birthing Better skills were developed by mothers … for sure. Women want to know how-to birth. Just because women get pregnant and birth, we (as Women) KNOW that we don’t instinctively know how-to birth. If we don’t, you don’t know how to help us!
Birthing Better skills were developed by fathers … for sure. Dads-to-be want to help … desperately. Your partner will hand you a book or you’ll go to a class and come away wondering ‘What?’ Birthing Better dads will teach you the specific hands-on skills to prepare her body to give birth as well as the birth-coaching skills for whatever ‘type’ of birth that unfolds. This is so IMPORTANT. Your partner has to birth no matter what. You have to help her stay in control no matter what!
Dad-to-be … you’re going to do The Birth
You have the job of being the birth coach or birth support person … if you prefer that word. Your skills as a birth coach are as important as the skills of a birthing mother. This is what dads-to-be don’t fully understand. Your Obstetrician or midwife will safeguard your partner and baby’s wellbeing. Your birthing partner has to ‘DO” the birth. You have to help. Help means you need skills. Standing around, being hung on, holding hands, giving ice chips and wiping her forehead is NOT help.
You have to learn to see and hear whether she is coping and have skills like modelling good breath patterns, deep touch as cue to soften inside, create space in her pelvis for this big object, read contractions to make certain they are effective. This is a whole other concept of helping.
When any birthing woman has skills she is infinitely more likely to stay on top of and in control whether she has a birth coach or not. Yet, if you are present then you need to have the skills to help her manage and cope. She wants you to know how to help. Why? Because she does not want you to be all thumbs once your baby is born.
With the right skills for you as a dad-to-be and for you as the mom-to-be you can become a great birth team working through your baby’s birth journey. You’ll feel great even if there are things that happen you’re not chuffed about. Birthing Better skills have been used in non-laboring C-sections, unplanned cesareans, home alone, in the back of a car, hooked up with tubes, in hospital, at home or whatever!
Your birth empowerment comes from what you ‘do’ and skills are what you do. Being skilled leaves you with wonderful childbirth memories and builds your family and partnership relationship. So learning birth skills is essential … and don’t forget to enjoy yourselves!
Dad-to-be as Birth coach or birth support
Some will tell you that your role is to support a woman’s choice and ‘be there’. That’s like standing behind a woman changing the diapers but not willing to do that yourself. Most women want you to be involved not just there.
Being a support person is great. You offer encouragement. Being a coach means you have the skills to actually help her. Birthing Better dads were serious and so were the moms. This was our child. We wanted a set of shared skills that would work in absolutely every type of birth and that could make us a stronger family.
Team birth coach includes you as the birth coach and the woman doing the hard work. Birthing Better offers you simple, effective, time-tested skills that will strengthen your family and leave you satisfied and pleased with your team efforts.