There’s an old saying … ‘practice makes perfect’. That’s nonsense really. The best any of us can do is to perfect our skills. Our human mind loves being skilled. We take pride in doing our jobs well. Helping your birthing partner to do her job well will make you (and her) feel good … no … wonderful, over the moon, empowered, proud and grateful for the skills you shared. In order to help your birthing partner you need skills that you’ve learned, practiced sufficiently to be able to use confidently then been willing to adjust and adapt those skills to the situation that’s unfolding.
Practice is not something that is odious if you care about yourself as a human being, man, partner and father-to-be and if you care about your baby and the birth that will take place. Why should learning and practicing skills to be an effective birth coach be odious? In reality, no one told you you needed skills which means you’re uncertain, skeptical and guarded instead of just digging in because that’s what is expected.
What so women know?
Women do give birth but they are not instinctively hard wired to ‘know how-to’ birth better. We know this because of another old saying …’there’s no way to know what your birth will be like’.
If women intuitively knew how to birth then the word ‘suffering’ would never have been part of the Childbirth Story and women won’t be using medical pain relief in the millions. ‘Suffering’ in childbirth is directly related to a woman’s inability to know how to cope, manage, work with, deal with and stay on top of the natural occurring painful labor contractions.
Wives wanted husbands to ‘be there’ to help. No kidding. She expects you to know how-to help. We have the husband-coached skills for you.
We’d like to transfer those skills like Spock does with Mind Melding but instead you’re going to have to learn and PRACTICE. Practicing does not take time. Do so while doing other things, think about the skills, imagine yourself using them and integrate them into your Life. Let them become second nature.
You might not know how the birth will be but this is for certain … 100% of pregnant women will give birth and the activity unfolds moment-to-moment. All your practice will pay off. You’ll have the husband-coached skills you want and your pregnant partner expects.