What is ‘suffering’ in childbirth? We’ve all heard that term. In fact, we often hear pregnant women say: ‘I don’t want to suffer in my coming birth, what should I do?’
Another way pregnant women say this is: ‘I’m afraid of the pain of labor contractions, what should I do?’
Another way pregnant women say this is: ‘How can I cope with labor pains, what should I do?’
After the birth, this is often what we hear: ‘I lost it, birth was terrible’.
Another way women after birth explain suffering: ‘Nothing I did worked, the pain was horrible”
How about this: ‘I couldn’t wait to get the epidural, I was just screaming and screaming’.
There are so many ways both pregnant and post-birth women explain what suffering is.
Pile on top of all the variations, is a stark reality … ‘There’s no way to know what your birth will be like’. That’s always true no matter how each woman plans and creates her Birth Plans. You cannot plan for your birth which frustrates the crap out of pregnant women.
However, between the Truth and the birth is an inaccurate follow-on sentence: ‘Therefore, there’s really nothing you can do to prepare for your birth’. That is a SHOCKING inaccuracy!
It’s really simple. We (Women, Midwives, doulas, childbirth educators, Obstetricians and auxiliary birth providers) can all agree on one thing … ’It’s normal and natural when pregnant to self-learn birth and coaching skills that you use to work through the activity of birthing your baby in all births without exception”.
Right now there is absolutely NO societal expectation that pregnant women and their partner/other self-learn birth and coaching skills. Therefore, too many birthing women are suffering unnecessarily.
All of us have a responsibility to reduce suffering in childbirth by passing on this simple approach to all births … when pregnant, self-learn birth and coaching skills then use those skills as you work through the activity of birthing your baby.
When birthing women feel in control, they don’t suffer. They can’t control what they feel or what happens to or around them. They CAN CONTROL how they response (with skills) or left to react (lacking skills)