What are the Birth Stories women tell? We might hear Birth Stories like these:
“I had a home birth”
“I had a hospitl birth”
“I had a VBAC”
“I had a Cesarean”
“I had a Obstetrician”
“I had a midwife”
We also hear:
“I had a natural birth”
“ I had lots of interventions”
“I hated my birth, my doctor, the staff and my husband”
“My husband was great”
That tells us nothing about ‘giving’ birth and that’s what 100% of pregnant women will do one way or another.
Let’s look at the 3 most comment ELEMENTS of Birth Stories when women explain more
1) TIME … ‘My water bag started to leak at 9am” or ‘My labor lasted for 72 hours” or ‘My baby was born at 11:15pm” . There are heaps of variation of Time. How are you describing this element of your Birth Story?
2) WHAT THEY DID OR DIDN’T DO TO ME …. ‘My obstetrician demanded I have another Cesarean or was encouraging of my VBAC’ or ‘My husband was useless or wonderful” or ‘My midwife was wonderful or just sat there when I needed her help”. How are you telling this element of your Birth Story?
3) WHAT I FELT … “I vomited constantly in early labor’ or ‘I was terrified of birth’ or ‘I swear I had an orgasm as I was pushing’ or ‘I had horrible back labor’ or ‘The epidural didn’t work and I felt terrible pain’. How are you telling this element of your Birth Story?
So, what is this MISSING ELEMENT?
It’s simple … What birth skills did you use?
4) WHAT BIRTH AND BIRTH-COACHING SKILLS USED .. ‘My husband could see and hear when I needed him to breathe with me’ or ‘I could choose positions that kept my labor contractions progressing’ or ‘Our teamwork skills were exceptional’ or ‘Our doctor, midwife, doula, staff praised how well I coped and managed’ or ‘On the way to hospital, while being prepped and in surgery I used my breathing and relaxation skills’.
Today, I’m going to talk about how we can grow a self-learning birthing population. It’s simple. It’s all about the Childbirth Message. Right now, we’re telling each other to make choices and write a Birth Plan and hope for the best.
What we need is this message: It’s normal and natural when pregnant to self-learn birth and birth-coaching skills then use those skills to work through the activity of birthing our baby in all births”