Getting ready for The Birth leaves out the approximately 9 months that lead to this extraordinary experience. Fathers want skills to deal with pregnancy! All of you men who have already gone through pregnancy you know how dynamic it is. The Birth is just a compressed time frame compared to pregnancy. But where to start?
Until recently women didn’t know they were pregnant for weeks and perhaps months. Now women can know almost immediately. This means your knowledge of pregnancy follows the whole pregnancy and not just once a woman ‘shows’. The roles of women and men changes constantly within modern societies pretty much from one generation to another. In traditional cultures often the roles remain the same through the generations. But we’re talking to dads-to-be who live in modern societies around the world. This means most men have not a clue what to do once they have impregnated a woman! Really, is there anything a man needs to do except give up 20,000,000 little things that somehow find one bigger thing and then POW … conception?
From the moment you impregnate a woman she is pregnant and that means you are too! Your baby’s cells are dividing left, right and center. This rapid growth of your baby impacts the woman’s emotions, mind, body and spirit. No matter whether this is a planned pregnancy or not, pregnancy drags everyone along. Thankfully pregnancy lasts 9 months for most people and your baby isn’t born 24 hours after conception! Think about how rapidly you’d have to grow if that happened.
Most women are totally overwhelmed during the first 12 weeks of pregnancy and here’s why … she is out of control of her body. Women soon learn that this ‘other’ person is actually very powerful. You can imagine something growing inside you and doing it’s own thing but making its presence felt at every single moment of your life. Come on guys … we’re about to help you grow alongside your baby and partner.
So here is the list of skills you’re going to develop throughout pregnancy. You’re going to learn how to grow and exhibit all these skills to YOURSELF first! To your partner and to your baby. In other words, you are going to become a competent and enriched human being who nurtures himself and therefore is able to give to others. BTW … Women don’t understand this concept of taking care of yourself first so you have the energy to nurture others. This is one reason pregnant women can become so needy yet never satisfied. Hopefully your pregnant partner will grow these skills consciously as well but she might have more on her plate to consciously do this. You don’t have the added … something-is-growing-inside-me thing.
Once these skills become stronger in you over the next few months, they will deepen over the years.
- Attention to detail
- Being able to see what needs to be done
- Growing a second set of arms (I’ll explain later)
- Growing two more sets of eyes (I’ll explain later)
While your partner is going through all her physical, emotional and mental changes as she ‘becomes’ a mother, you get to develop those qualities of fatherhood. These are human qualities of course however, your growth isn’t going to be physical, it has to be a maturing of your behaviors and abilities.
Your bottom line
There may be no cultural norm for you to follow, however, when you grow these human qualities then you’ll develop skills that will enrich your family.
Men are not stupid. They have a full complement of emotions. Women do not automatically or instinctively know how to navigate pregnancy and The Birth. As women and men (mothers and fathers) we must learn and grow together.
Once you get to 24 weeks then you need to learn very practical skills to prepare for The Birth as well as birth and birth-coaching skills. We want you to know where we’re headed.
Here is a wonderful example of a father who is using so many of the above qualities. The result? Being fascinated with your newborn and not afraid!