This is the sixth talk and you’re about 29 weeks into your pregnancy. In the last two talks you learned some good communication as a solution to the question Dad’s often ask ‘How do I help her? As mentioned before, sharing a common language and also a common touch are just two of the solutions to that big question.
Today we’re going to discuss effective touch. We touch and are touched all the time; the weather, sunlight, our clothes, what we pick up along with our contact to others. In fact touch can be extended to the words we say to ourselves or to others.
Loving, kind words touch us different to harsh, critical ones. That’s why understanding our negative and positive voice, as we did in the last talk helps us to go forward in labour when it’s painful rather than give up. As labour progresses women tend to be less talkative and also change how they feel about being touched
Since BirthingBetter skills originate from ordinary Mum’s and Dad’s like ourselves, what we know as women about touch is very simple. We like being touched in labour, particularly the intense part, if it is the right touch in the right place in the right time, if not don’t touch. Since we discussed the difference in what the words support and coach mean, you know that many Dad’s who support their partners massage, rub and wipe brows.
These Dad’s have done a great job supporting their partners because coaching means to give direction or instructions as well as support, Dad’s who have good coaching skills can move beyond those types of touch to an effective touch which the birthing woman loves and uses to direct her inner awareness deeper inside her body in order to maintain relaxation and openness.
In a previous talk you made a list of specific words to give direction or instructions and you’ve learned to use the word soften, which is a more action specific word, than the word relax which tends to be too general. Now you can couple your touch with your verbal direction.
Place your hand on one of the specific places on your list, your might place your hand on the woman’s sacrum, that’s the bone at the bottom of your spine in which ends with your tail bone, keep in mind the fact that our body is a container through which our baby has to pass.
The sacrum plays an important role in how easily our baby passes through the hole in our pelvis. This sacrum is one of the bones of our pelvis and if our baby which is a big object has to make more room, it presses outward on the sacrum.
This is called back labour, back labour drags on between contractions. It’s easy to tense up when you have labour pain and much easier to remain tense when the pain continues during the space between contractions. When you place your hand on the sacrum you direct the woman’s attention to that area.
You don’t want to press, although that’s the most common skill taught Dad’s. But think about it, if an object’s trying to make more space, why would you want to make the space smaller by compressing it? So no pressure, you’re just helping a woman focus her attention.
Once you’ve placed your hand on the woman’s sacrum, then give her the verbal instruction to soften inside her sacrum or soften under your hand. Keep your hand there; you actually might feel some of her tension release. Move onto another of your ten specific places, you have plenty of time left to do this practising over the next few weeks.
This is also a great for women to help their husband’s to relax after a long day. 0f course you’ll find other places on the list you’ve made that’s specific for labour. So visit birthingbetter.com and learn more about BirthingBetter.