Dear Father-to-be supporting a VBAC
Are you thinking to yourself, ‘WTF does she want from me and we have our doctor/midwife to take care of her. What exactly am I supposed do?
Or maybe you feel pretty confident that you can be a good VBAC birth-coach at least for a while but, deep down you’re not certain if her VBAC birth goes on for hours or if your birth provider doesn’t want her to continue.
Or perhaps you’re terrified by her decision to try for a VBAC and are demanding you help her. After all you’re pretty certain the last Cesarean may have saved your baby or her life.
We get it. We’ve been there. And we’ve been helping fathers supporting VBAC since the 1980s. It’s actually a little funny. We had another man look over one of our website pages about how great fathers are as VBAC coaches. He said ‘Birth is Women’s Business, stay out of it’. He wasn’t a husband and father yet!
The truth is, men can be great birth coaches because all Birthing Better skills are based on our human commonality. We all blink, cough and can tighten up our rectum. If nothing else, a VBAC dad can tell his wife … ‘Don’t tight up your rectum’ during labor or VBAC delivery because he knows darn well a BIG object has to come down, through and out. Being tight hinders that. See how easy it is. You can become skilled. You have to choose to.
But we understand why so many fathers can’t image supporting during a normal labor and delivery much less a vaginal birth after a Cesarean. Know one is giving you skills and you can’t invent them yourself.
Seriously, ignore men who see birth as Women’s Business. You’re going to be a dad and parenting isn’t Women’s Business. Think of it this way. You put it in there. Help get it out.
Your family is pregnant right here, right now, and we believe in you!
More importantly, we’ve been there and helped so many, many men learn the skills to be a great VBAC coach.
… and you know your pregnant parent wants you to be there for her during this VBAC. Even if you’re uncertain, you know she really isn’t giving you an option. In fact, you might be certain that if you don’t step up to the plate and really help that she might be hurt, disappointed and angry. And, we all know Women … they never forget!
But you want to know what exactly to do, how to deal with her, your birth professionals and what happens if she has another Cesarean.
We’re going to show you exactly how to help and it starts as close to 24 weeks of pregnancy with the skills to prepare her body in the privacy of your own home.
You’re going to gain the skills that brought us confidence, capability, certainty and no small amount of pride! And, loving gratitude from our pregnant partners as well as wowing your birth professionals. They will LOVE seeing you really knowing how to birth-coach.
If that’s you, read on…
So, here’s what our Trust has done. We’ve always had some hesitancy claiming that Birthing Better skills can lead to a successful VBAC because there’s always the reality your partner will have another Cesarean, so we’ve been criticized for claiming these skills work. Birthing Better actually goes beyond a successful VBAC. You got pregnant to have a baby not a type of birth, so Birthing Better skills will work for the both of you even if your birth is a surgical one. Skills shouldn’t be limited to one type of birth! That’s nuts.
But we could talk for hours on this topic and frankly we know that you might remain ambivalent about being a VBAC coach because you don’t believe you can add anything, don’t believe you need to or believe she can’t achieve a VBAC. Fathers are faced with so many emotions when a woman wants a VBAC.
Our Trust, that holds all the VBAC skills hundreds of fathers developed and we are passionate about all VBAC fathers having these skills. We want to do what it takes to help you become a wonderful father supporting a VBAC and coaching through one. That’s why our Trust has a special Fathers Supporting VBAC online birthing class so you know exactly what to do.
Before we tell you what we cover in the class, I want to be up front with you. Our Trust cannot promise will work to achieve a VBAC because things happen. We know how many diverse and individual factors surround a decision to have a VBAC and achieving one.
Sure, we all love an intentional success. There’s a thrill that you’ll feel when your partner achieves her VBAC because you’ll know that you truly helped. It takes a lot of work to prepare a woman’s body to open up to let a big object out. It takes more work to help a woman cope with the naturally occurring pain of labor contractions. Labor is work. Learning skills to do that labor is work.
Our Trust and all VBAC dads are not going to lie to you. A good percent of women who want a VBAC either end up with an unplanned Cesarean at some point in labor or have a non-laboring Cesarean.
All Birthing Better VBAC fathers will tell you that there’s no guarantee that a VBAC will be achieved. Our Trust can’t take away that reality even if you’ve done everything in this VBAC online birthing class.
But we’re not afraid to tell you that, all the work you put into achieving a VBAC will always be worth it. You matter and your help matters to her!
We can’t pretend that women often give up and give in instead of achieving a VBAC. We can’t take away the maternity system you’ll face. We can’t take away your anxiety of a VBAC.
But we (our New Zealand Trust AND all the VBAC Fathers) can show you how to prepare properly for a VBAC and how to birth-coach a VBAC birth effectively.
This class is going to show you what to do throughout a VBAC birth as a VBAC birth-coach so that you get from start to finish without feeling stupid, useless, helpless or disconnected.
Here’s what you’ll discover:
- Practical techniques that really work (really fast) to create space in your pregnant parent’s body so it’s easier for your baby to move down, through and out.
- Proven skills you can learn right now, during pregnancy, to make the VBAC birth go smoothly
- Understanding this tip means you can help your VBAC partner to cope much better with pain levels throughout labor
- How to work with your birth provider as a VBAC birth-coach (hint: this makes a HUGE difference between your partner achieving her VBAC or feeling pressured to have another Cesarean)
- Add this daily habit it for a happier VBAC pregnancy, easier VBAC labor, and a guarantee to bond with baby and admired by your VBAC birthing partner and your birth providers.
- Use this easy “5 phases” thinking and acting to make her contractions much more manageable
- Why waiting to go to the hospital means a faster, safer labor with less pain
- How to see and hear your VBAC partner and know exactly when and how to help.
- Which positions can double or even triple her VBAC pain levels (and which positions bring sweet relief!)
- How to handle the dreaded back labor if that happens to keep your baby moving down and out
- Use the Two Birthing Behaviors lists to do more of This and less of That.
- This “forgotten key” is your ticket to coaching your VBAC partner to a smoother, easier, less painful birth (this is the most practical, most powerfultechnique I’m going to share in the entire class)
- How to be the very best VBAC birth-coach ever!
- Know what to do exactly if your VBAC partner starts to “lose it” during labor and wants to give up
- The 6 little words you can repeat over and over during the VBAC labor and delivery that will keep you focused, relaxed, engaged and helpful
This is a super-focused class where our Trust and Birthing Better VBAC dads are going to teach you exactly what to do to help your VBAC partner achieve her vaginal birth. We’ll cover all your options – and we’ll cover which ones actually work. We’re going to walk you through the entire labor and delivery process, beginning to end. And we’re going to show you exactly what to do if your VBAC has another Cesarean.
This dedicated Fathers Birth-Coaching VBAC class is going to teach you what you need to know about helping your VBAC partner handle labor pain naturally – and what to do if she feels she can’t do it anymore.
P.S. You probably know that VBAC birth is the best option for your baby, but you know the #1 thing that women say stopped their natural birth was “I just couldn’t take it ‘ or ‘I felt anxious about my baby’ so I opted for another Cesarean.
VBAC is honestly a little scary. But – and this we can promise you – there are so many things you can do to help her handle the pain, and even get rid of the pain – so she and you have a great VBAC birth.
Our Trust has been around since 1996 … that’s a lot of VBAC births. We know these techniques work because hundreds of fathers and mothers developed the skills so they would work. You and your VBAC partner have nothing to lose, and an incredible VBAC birth with lots of time after your baby’s birth to praise yourself and receive the high regard from your birth provider. This class is for you, awesome dad coaching a VBAC birth!