Letter To Jessica About Birth

Hi Jessica

I know you have an interest in our Trust and what I’ve mentioned to you. I know how very, very busy you and your team are. I have a proposal.

Let’s set up a Zoom conference call so I can speak to some of your team about:

• Healing two major, historic childbirth mistakes;
  • Mistake one (1950s-70s): The first birth skills (Lamaze, Bradley, Grantly Dick-Read) for ‘low risk normal pregnancy’ in order to achieve 3 very limited goals: natural birth, pain free labor and no interventions
    • Good: First international concept that there are birth skills that countered: ‘You never know what your birth will be like therefore, there’s really nothing you can do to prepare.’
    • Bad: Wrong goals
    • Bad: Excludes too many
    • Bad: Anti-modern maternity care
    • What could have been: These 3 Obstetricians advocated for all birthing women to become skilled so they could cope better.
  • Mistake two (1970s-present): Dismissing skills and advocating ‘choices’ as a way to achieve those 3 very limited goals.
    • Wrong goals
    • Excludes too many
    • What could have been: Skills and choices together for all births
  • Healing the past: The Concept (how easy it is to grow a skilled birthing population) that benefits everyone.
    • It becomes normal and natural for all expectant parents to self-learn birth and coaching skills
    • Simple goals: cope, manage, deal with, work through, handle, stay on top of and feel in control as pathway to birthing better and more positive birth experience.
    • Skills and choices together:
      • Choices are variable.
      • Skills are always usable.
    • The role of Birthing Better (the skills within our charitable Trust) within this bigger Concept.
      • Evolution from the limited birth skills of Lamaze, Bradley, Grantly Dick-Read.
      • Skills developed by fathers and mothers.
      • Skills for all families and every birth without exception

 Stark Realities

• Since you last emailed me many women have birthed just in your unit … some easily, some with skills, some with issues and many lacking skills. They get through birth because it’s something that happens and hell … ‘You never know what your birth is going to be like’.
  • Think how many women have given birth throughout the world in this same period!
• Maternity system is ripe for a change.
  • General medicine: diabetes, obesity and heart conditions has changed faster than maternity
    • High expectation people learn skills to take care of themselves
  • Everyone wants ALL women to have safe births with healthy mothers and babies and for women to a positive birth experience.
• The maternity profession focuses on the ‘health and safety’ of mother and baby.
  • Women give (a weak verb) birth that is an Activity every woman must do with her baby no matter where the birth occurs, who is present, all circumstances and beliefs.
  • Women cannot ‘chose’ their birth because babies don’t come to plan BUT they can use skills to cope, manage, work through, deal with, handle, stay on top of and feel in control as they DO (strong but confusing verb) the activity (clear noun) of birthing (weird verb) their baby.
  • The maternity system must lead the way as did General Medicine to educate, inform, insist, explain why all expectant families should learn and use birth and coaching skills as they ‘do’ the activity of birthing their baby.

 Our Trust can help members of your unit to: educate, persuade, convince, require (yup! but that doesn’t mean they get punished) all your clients to self-learn birth skills and use them. 

• Why? Because we have to heal the two mistakes from the past and create a simple narrative and actions to achieve a skilled birthing population for all births with simple, achievable goals that include everyone.

Your organization has the potential to find out what happens within a Woman Led Maternity system. Won’t it be neat if skills just plan improved mothers/fathers experiences no matter what happens? SEE ATTACHED.

• But, won’t it be wonderful if your unit discover how easy it is to grow a skilled birthing population and then can get other units … especially the ones working with high-risk births that can barely be woman led and have lots and lots of interventions.
• Our Trust (me) has 50 years of experience. Let’s work together. This is simple. It can be understood in 30 minutes and implemented the next day. (attached Flyer/Hand=out).
• some work as to be done (research the skills-based methods available to your clients) Tweaking script (perhaps give to clients to refer to as part of hand-out. s
• We can do all of this online. What takes time is building the confidence and what happens with people. But this is NOT rocket science. It’s like teaching your children to take their muddy boats off before they come in house and remembering to do that all your life.
• Growing a skilled birthing population is NOT a life-style change. It requires 16 weeks from 24 weeks onward and from 5-20 minutes every day or two or three … even people who go to class have to PRACTICE.
• Staff do NOT need to see the ‘practice’ any more than they see the meal, the exercise or stress reduction of heart/diabetes/obesity. Change is obvious by words and behaviours. What you see is what you get