PREGNANT NOW?
To know why you’re thinking the way you are while pregnant now, you do need to know the past a wee bit so you can actually choose how you would like your ‘other’ to participate
PARTNER/OTHER?
You are the most confused!
BACK WHEN;
Throughout Time and around the world, diverse cultures treated ‘other’ in these ways:
- Women went off by themselves to birth and there was no ‘other’
- Women went off with other women family members to a ‘special place’ so the ‘other’ was a woman family member
- Women birthed where they lived and ‘other’ was anyone
MODERN SOCIETIES:
- Until 1970s or so, ‘other’ = husband/father and they were excluded from being with women who were birthing in hospital
- Fathers/other were sometimes at the birth at home births but the primary ‘other’ was the midwife or birth attendant.
1970s
- Fathers/other were permitted into hospital as ‘BIRTH-COACH’ because the very first childbirth preparation classes were ‘Skills-based’ (Lamaze and Bradley) that stressed the role of fathers having skills to help the birthing woman cope, manage, deal with, work through, handle, stay on top of and feel in control. Women had demanded this!
1980s onwards
- The Natural Birth Movement and famous authors didn’t feel men should ‘coach’ women because ‘women know how to birth’.
- Birth ‘choices’ were becoming popular with a Birth Plan
- The role of ‘other’ changed from ‘coaching with skills’ to ‘supporting choices with no skills to help’
NOW … BIRTH ‘OTHER’:
- If you’re going to be ‘at’ the Birth then you need skills to help a woman cope, manage, work through, deal with, handle, stay on top of and feel in control
- If you’re going to be in this baby’s life, then you want skills so you feel capable, competent and can share in parenting.
- During pregnancy and birth, your baby is here now! So, become skilled!