Let’s get real. Is having natural childbirth or normal childbirth important to you? Can you define the words ‘normal’ and ‘natural’ in regards to childbirth? Does normal and natural imply to you that your birth will be safe and have a good outcome while you’ll be able to cope with the natural occurring pain of contractions? Have the books you’ve read tell you that pregnancy and birth are normal and natural life events? Do you have friends who wanted a normal birth and got one? What about friends who didn’t achieve one? Do you know how to have a natural birth? Do you just trust that birth is easy and safe, manageable and with a good outcome?
We want you to consider all these questions because your birth matters to you. If you want a natural and normal birth then you want your birth to unfold as you want. Birthing Better families want you to achieve a natural birth as well. Many of them wanted one too. And here is how we achieved a normal and natural birth.
Before we go further ask yourself on a scale from 1 (not too important) to 10 (incredibly important) is a natural birth to you?
Let’s talk about those questions
If you want a natural childbirth but only want it from 1-4 on a scale of 10 then you feel pretty relaxed about having medical care when needed. Probably you’ll have a hospital birth experience. You may go to childbirth classes with a childbirth educator. Also, you’re probably making a childbirth plan (Birth Plan) but you’re not fussed one way or another.
If your desire to have a natural childbirth is 5-8 you’d prefer not to have much medical care but if it’s necessary you’ll be ok with it. You will probably have a hospital childbirth labor and delivery. You’ll probably go to childbirth classes as well and make a childbirth plan (Birth Plan) that is more detailed and focused on what you’d really like and don’t like.
If you’re desperate and totally focused on achieving natural childbirth you’re right up there at 8-10 and any intervention is likely to leave you feeling traumatized or at least incredibly disappointed if not full of shame, blame, guilt and all sorts of other emotions. Your childbirth plan is more extensive. You’re more likely to have a childbirth at home experience, choose a midwife and really seek a normal childbirth by birthing out of the hospital. If you have a hospital birth then you’ll seek an obstetrician or midwife who will support your choices.
Pregnancy is natural. Birth is natural
No matter where you are on this scale of childbirth labor and delivery you are all the same. Bold statement but true.
Why? Because all of you are going to give birth to your baby just because you are pregnant. Birth is the conclusion of pregnancy.
The GREAT YOUR DESIRE to have natural childbirth or normal childbirth the more skilled you need to be because wanting natural childbirth does not mean that is what you’ll have.
The MOST COMMON CAUSE OF INTERVENTIONS is your inability to cope with the natural occurring pain of contractions! If you learn Birthing Better birth and coaching skills just to cope with labor pains then you’re well on your way to having a natural childbirth.
We’ll let Birthing Better families speak to you directly.
‘I wanted a natural birth but if I need medical care then that was going to be ok with me. I wasn’t one of those women who felt the world was going to fall apart if anything medical happened to them. My sister and I worked through The Pink Kit. As a single mom, I wanted my family around. WE LOVED THE SKILLS! We had so much fun doing The Hip Lift and Sit Bone Spread. We were both floored at how well I coped with pain. As a kid, I cried at the least scratch. The Pink Kit skills are amazing. To know I was learning from hundreds of mothers and fathers. That was incredible.’
‘If you asked my wife how she felt about having a natural birth she would some days say it was really important but then she’d say she would accept medical care if it was really essential. I wanted to support her. My brother actually gave us a copy of The Pink Kit after he and my sister-in-law used it for their incredible birth of twins. He couldn’t stop raving about it so we got stuck in. Every father needs these skills. I absolutely needed to know how to help my wife birth at every moment. The Pink Kit taught me to hear and see whether she was coping well with contractions and then know how to help. Get The Pink Kit and you will achieve a natural birth’.
‘I was absolutely frantic to have a natural birth this time. I ended up with a c/s after 48 hours of labor from a planned home birth. What went wrong? My illusion really. One of my best friends had a home birth that was wonderful and I thought ‘I’ll have one of those’. It was a nightmare. My friend was my labor coach and she didn’t know what to do. This time my partner and I got real. We had to learn how-to birth. The Pink Kit excelled at giving us the skills we needed but more importantly, I learned how to prepare my body to give birth. What did I learn? I was so tight inside no wonder our daughter couldn’t get through the cement in my vagina … just a joke but boy, the reality is the reality. We took charge and religiously did the internal massage for 8 weeks. The birth was great. I could follow everything that was happening and use the skills to soften inside as our son moved down, through and out my body. Can’t recommend The Pink Kit enough.’
Pregnancy naturally ends with birth
‘I thought natural childbirth was the norm then I discovered most of my friends had so many interventions and lots of c/s. That wasn’t going to happen to me. I read everything but something was missing. I wanted some skills. After doing heaps of research we picked The Pink Kit and Hypnobirthing. Great combo! The Pink Kit was more practical and hands-on and much more focused on my husband and his skills. Hypnobirthing was more mental. But they worked great together. Can’t say I loved labor but we did have a natural birth although our midwife did internal exams, monitored our baby and even stripped my membranes because I went way over our due date.’
‘I had watched heaps of YouTube birth videos and read about orgasmic birth but my three-hour labor (first baby) was less than idea. My best friend, when she was pregnant, asked me what I was thinking in labor. I told her I didn’t have time to think about anything, the contractions came every 10 seconds. But then I reconsidered that. I actually did have one thought going through my head … I thought I was going to die. Thankfully my best friend and hubby were working through The Pink Kit and we shared it. It was great having another couple working through it. We helped each other with the skills and just roared with laughter at some of the skills they were so eye-opening. We gave birth two weeks apart and we talked for months afterward about the skills and how wonderful they are. Our husbands have become great friends and know they could help any woman stay in control during birth.’
Paula and Ken Dyson
‘I was one of those women who believed that just because I was a woman I would know how to birth and had a wildly beautiful home birth with our son. So I assumed my second birth would follow that. Wrong. Had a really horrific birth because our second son had a hand up by his head. I realized then I had NO skills to cope with a birth that didn’t go the way I wanted and expected. And I realized that having a hand up by the head was natural but not frequent. I spent a lot of that labor absolutely stunned. My husband had no idea how to help because he assumed I knew how to birth. That caused lots of strong conversations for months afterward. When we fell pregnant next I researched skills and found The Pink Kit. It was developed by families and used in every type of birth. The skills were absolutely unique. I learned what I could have done to help at the previous birth! This time our daughter was breech but we chose to birth at home and I knew we safeguarded her by learning these wonderful, wonderful skills. And this time my husband and I worked together. That was amazing’.
Melinda and Frank Regal
Before we talk about under what circumstances you would accept an intervention, we want to discuss that word … intervention.
Bluntly we’ve done a huge disadvantage to ourselves by calling all medical assessments, monitoring, and procedures an intervention. This is a huge mistake. Make a list of what you consider an ‘intervention’. That list might be 10-30 different things. That’s a lot of things to avoid and if they are all an intervention (imposed on you and unnecessary) then there is little hope that more than a very small group of women will achieve a natural childbirth. We can’t have that.
Birthing Better families never used the word ‘intervention’. They just talked about what medical assessments, monitoring, and procedures they would feel comfortable with or not. They did this because they knew they had skills to work with and around all types of medical care. That was important. Having skills shifted the very understanding of the word ‘natural childbirth’.
Birthing Better skilled families always believe they gave birth naturally because they used their skills throughout the process of birthing their baby.
‘My wife and I learned The Pink Kit skills. We chose to give birth in our local hospital. We worked beautifully together even though there was some medical assessments … like checking blood pressure and internal exams. Our baby was monitored periodically. Some procedures were done too .. the waters were broken and my wife needed stitches. We really felt we had had natural childbirth until a friend said to my wife: ‘You can’t have a natural birth if you’re in hospital’. My wife was heartbroken. I was so angry. Of course, we had a natural childbirth. We worked through every moment of our daughter’s birth thanks to The Pink Kit. Her partner hadn’t a clue what to do. Natural birth is what you do not what doesn’t happen to you. That’s my two cents’.
The bottom-line once you are skilled you will realize that medical care is something that is part of giving birth whether at home or hospital. Midwives often do assessments and monitor even at a home birth and also some procedures. Many of these are the ‘standards of care’. If you really want NO assessment, NO monitoring and NO procedures then do birth alone … but still become skilled because birth is all about what you do and not just what you avoid.
Achieve your natural childbirth
Reach for the stars. Do the work. Do the research. Read everything. Watch every YouTube video of a natural childbirth and as you’re watching … look for the skills the woman and her husband/other are using. All women who cope well are using skills. And they are using skills even when they feel pain. They are using their skills to stay on top of and in control of their reaction to the naturally occurring pain of natural childbirth. Go into your natural childbirth with an incredible set of skills. You’re more likely to avoid all those ‘interventions’ if they aren’t necessary and be able to work with and around all the assessments, monitoring and procedures if they are ‘standards of care’ or if they are necessary.
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