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Accidents do happen or more like serendipity. I met a lovely man on a train. He was about to have his first baby with a woman who had two previous children. Apparently she had terrible birth experiences and desperately wanted a good experience. They purchased a Pink Kit Package (now known as Birthing Better online birthing classes). This is what happened … she really had no interest. Perhaps she was resistant.

Perhaps she felt by changing the birth environment then her birth would be what she wanted … relying on Birth Plans (wishes, wants and don’t want). Perhaps she didn’t believe anything could make a difference to her birth experiences. Perhaps she didn’t value birth sufficiently to take time from her business schedule. Perhaps there were reasons I know nothing about it. I met her husband 1x and talked with him for the 2-hour train ride.

This is his story.

‘I’ve got a first draft of the birth story for our son. This is the quickie report. She did a little bit of reading, watching and listening (to the CD). I went through almost all of it. With the skills I had from the PK, we had a wonderful birth. I feel that it could have been even better, but it went very smoothly, so there really isn’t anything to complain about. I got to the hospital on Jan 5 a bit after 9:30 am, her water broke at 10:10 and I was catching my son at 11:23 am.

We both agree that had you and I not met (*on a train) and we (mostly me) not had the PK skills the birth would have been very different and much the same as her first two births. I had to play a bit more of a director than a coach, but we worked well.

Warmth and love,

PS: we did not fail. We didn’t get all we could have, but what we did was wonderful.

Now, what does this say?

To all you fathers-to-be out there … you’ve got to take charge of your end of the deal. If you’re going to be at the birth of your children then you have to have the skills whether your partner invests time to learn for herself or not.

Without this man stepping up to the plate, educating himself with how to ‘coach’ (in this case ‘direct) then the birth would not have been the same. He spent the time learning. He spent the time knowing for himself because he chose to.

What was the return on investment? Pretty darn good from that story. He did it. He’ll always feel great about the role he played.

Do you think his wife will love him, value him, appreciate him and recognize how much better the whole experience would have been had she invested a fraction of the time he did?

Birthing Better online courses are housed in Common Knowledge Trust