Birth choices weren’t always around. Our individual and collective Mind has a horrible habit of believing ‘What’s happening now has always happened’ and that’s as inaccurate as believing you can plan your birth.
We know our Mind is weird when we can go to a movie, that we KNOW is not real and have emotions that are very real. Our human mind does not always differentiate between ‘real’ and ‘not’.
The very idea that pregnant women know what kind of birth they want is pretty accurate. We want a safe birth for ourselves and our baby. And, we want a positive birth. But that’s not what the present Childbirth Trend is focused on when the word ‘Choice’ or Birth Plans are used.
The present Childbirth Trend of writing a Birth Plan started in the 1980s, promoted by Natural Birth Advocates and Home Birth Midwives. Women lacked choices prior to that time and still do in many countries. We can’t ‘choose’ the birth we have because ‘There’s no way to know what your birth will be like’ and ‘Babies don’t come to plan’.
But the IDEA of ‘birth choices’ was to be able to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to any type of medical ‘intervention’ as well as fill in all the details such as: ‘I want music played’ or ‘I want the cord cutting to be delayed’ or ‘I want to be the first person to touch my baby’ or ‘I don’t want my baby to have Vit D shot’ or ‘I don’t want an internal done’ or ‘I want to be left alone’… and on and on.
This series is about the confusion brought forth by the Natural Birth Movement and how common words have been given a ‘special’ meaning within the Childbirth Conversation that has led to the huge increase in shame, blame, guilt, disappointment, anger, frustration and emotional birth traumas.
We can get back on track by implementing a Skills-based Childbirth Trend that couples with the possibility of ‘choices’.
Here’s how they work together. Let’s make it normal and natural that all pregnant families self-learn birth and birth-coaching skills then use those skills to work through the activity of birthing their baby whether they have choices, lack choices or their choices change. Skills can and should be used no matter what happens to your choices.
Choices are ‘what I want or don’t want’. Skills are ‘how I cope, manage, work through, deal with, handle, stay on top of and feel in control’ as birth unfolds