Most of us in modern cultures have no way to know how to behave around pregnancy and childbirth. Most of us are no longer living within typical cultural norms. Our human mind has created so many different cultures. If you’ve traveled you know how awkward you can feel when you arrive in another culture. You still know how to chew your food and swallow and do all the other ‘human things’ but you don’t always know the right way to ‘behave’.
In modern cultures, once a woman gets pregnant she goes to a professional and puts herself in her/his hands. And this is true of midwives as well as obstetricians. Few people modern cultures have been to a birth before unless it’s their own. Even if a woman is given all the choice in the world and knows what she wants, there is no way of knowing how the birth will really go in the end. To tell the truth, you’re not asked to participate much.
Way back then
In most traditional cultures boys are put through initiation rites before they can become ‘men’. Every traditional culture also knows that the transition from being a man to being a father is as important. Each culture will teach the norms of fatherhood and motherhood. But the norms are all different in society now.
Two generations ago, men went to work and women stayed home. That’s changed. Now both men and women are supposed to work and earn an income as well as take care of the home and co-parent.
If you lived in a traditional community right now you would KNOW what other men do during pregnancy, birth and as fathers. What other men do, how they act and how they behave would be your norm. There is no norm now.
So here is a list of skills you’re going to develop throughout pregnancy. These skills will strengthen over the next few months and deepen over the years.
- Kindness
- Patience
- Awareness
- Attention to detail
- Being able to see what needs to be done
- Growing a second set of arms (I’ll explain later)
- Growing two more sets of eyes (I’ll explain later)
- Humor
- Delight
- Clarity
While your partner is going through all her physical, emotional, and mental changes as she becomes a mother, you get to develop those qualities of fatherhood. These are human qualities and are extremely attractive in men.
Your bottom line
There may be no cultural norm for you to follow now, however, when you grow these human qualities you’ll develop skills that will enrich your family.
Click on this link and you’ll be taken to the Fathers-to-be Pregnancy Academy course from conception to 12 weeks pregnancy.
At 24 weeks of pregnancy, come back here and purchase one Birthing Better online birthing classes, prepare for birth and learn birth-coaching skills.