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I have a cartoon in my head. I see you working through the video segments in Birthing Better online birth classes learning skills such as the Hip Lift, The Sacral Maneouvre, Sit Bone Spread, Mapping the pelvis, Pelvic Clock and Directed Breathing … and using one of your wonderful fatherhood skills … using 4 hands and arms. Well, that is a very funny cartoon but actually what you need to do with this fatherhood quality right now is to develop more sensitivity with the hands and arms you have.

As you learn about your baby’s mother’s body you must learn to touch her body in a manner that encourages her to deeply relax inside. Your touch must grow into a very sensitive and aware type of touch. This will come in handy as you touch your newborn. Many new fathers, even those with many kids, can often feel uncomfortable with their newborn because no one taught them the skill of sensitive touch.

Sure, you can experiment with a gentle touch during intimacy. Being intimate with your partner is not all about ‘climax’ or going full bore. Your arms and hands are attached to your chest and your chest is occupied with both your heart and your lungs. Your heart is your literal center and being ‘heartfelt’ is all about expressing the tenderness that is the maleness of maleness … the gentle, protective nature of man. The depth of a man’s capacity to hold (literally and figuratively) and embrace … through love … both children and women sadly go unseen, unappreciated and often undeveloped.

So when you think about growing your second set of arms so you can talk on the phone, vacuum the rug and hold your crying baby … also think about the symbolism of arms and the relationship of arms to the heart.

Your bottom line

This #3 phase of pregnancy is a great time to experiment with your tender touch … because your hands are the direct extension of your heart through your arms … to another.

Head to Udemy for all the Fathers-to-be Pregnancy Academy courses. Then at 24 weeks of pregnancy, come back here for the online birthing classes and start with the birth preparation and birth-coaching skills … all developed by hundreds of dads and moms.

Birthing Better skills are housed in Common Knowledge Trust.