Dads-To-Be 24-32 Weeks-6
There are approximately 3,680,000 births each year in the US, another 700,000 or so in the UK, maybe 250,000 in Australia and over 2 1/2 million in S. Africa … obviously mostly English speaking countries. Perhaps you discovered this blog early in your pregnancy or you’ve just arrived. What is certain and unavoidable is that another day passes and your baby’s mother is getting ever closer to giving birth.
Sometime between 24 and 32 weeks of pregnancy (3rd phase of pregnancy), as the pregnant woman sees her birth provider, decisions start to firm up about ‘The Birth’. There are many pregnant women who know at this point that they will have an elective surgical birth, home birth, are making a Birth Plan, want a natural birth in hospital, are scouting out whether a midwife or doula is available or whether you’ll take the step to birth at home just the two of you.
Let’s talk about elective C-section first
If your pregnant partner wants, needs or is pressured to have a non-laboring Cesarean do not let it stop you from continuing on your journey of discovering yourself as a father and do not stop taking time to prepare the pregnant body to birth your baby. Most families go passive once they don’t feel they are going to ‘birth’. But Birthing Better families still felt that they were birthing their baby! Continue to become skilled.
Planning for your baby’s birth stimulates your need to grow your second set of eyes. Just as your second set of arms can help you grow a sensitive touch with your first set of arms, your second set of eyes can awaken your inner vision.
The human brain is unique. We share the Neo-cortex with other primates, dolphins, and whales however we actually do not know how this part of the brain is used by other species. The Dog Whisperer continually points out … dogs do not have a neocortex. They cannot reason and they can quickly learn to let go of their past.
Humans can ‘see’ the past and ‘see’ the future. Whether you have a strong faith or just live your life, all humans activate this inner vision. This capacity is where your set second of eyes exist. During this phase of pregnancy, you begin to look back through the past weeks and moths and see how far you’ve come. You also get to look forward to the birth experience and beyond.
No matter what type of birth you want, hope for or plan the experience of giving birth only has the capacity to unfold moment-to-moment rather than be known beforehand. Right now all there is pregnancy so regardless of the future and what you might foresee, you must continue to develop yourself right now and turn your attention (which is a form of ‘seeing’) to continue to grow your fatherhood qualities and to prepare the pregnant body to let your baby out.
By doing these two things you are giving a strong and loving message to your baby. Although your baby is growing inside its mother’s body, your baby will know your touch and voice. As your baby gets bigger and you feel more parts of it inside the belly, you can begin to see how your baby is lying.
Your second set of eyes can also see how your baby’s mother is feeling. If she is feeling well then you will see that pregnancy beauty so loved by everyone … the glow. If she is feeling poorly then you’ll see that too.
Pregnancy both builds a woman and takes away from her. Her body is always supplying the baby. With your new awareness (a form of ‘seeing’) you can see subtle changes that previously would have gone right over your head.
You’ll delight in this ability. If you have children already you know what I’m talking about. It’s absolutely amazing when you can see the tiniest change in your children and they do change, change, and change. Wow, wow and more wows.
If this is your first child you are in for a treat. You’ll appreciate your own skill if you choose to grow your inner and outer eyesight.
So, even if you are planning an elective Caesarean don’t stop enjoying your growth and enjoying preparing for the birth of your child with its mother. A surgical birth may not be the ‘natural’ way to give birth, but the birth of your baby is as special as any other birth so it’s vitally important that you don’t take that one aspect to cause either of you to disconnect and disengage.
See how much closer the two of you will feel even during a surgical birth because you took time together to prepare for birth in the same manner that other pregnant women and fathers can do.
Your bottom line
No matter what type of birth you will experience or are planning to enjoy this precious time with your baby and its mother.
Head to Udemy for all the Fathers-to-be Pregnancy Academy courses. Then at 24 weeks of pregnancy, come back here for the online birth class and start with the birth preparation and birth-coaching skills … all developed by hundreds of dads and moms.
Birthing Better skills are housed in Common Knowledge Trust.