Depending on whether your baby’s mother is 32 weeks pregnant or 40, your patience will vary as will your pregnant partner. As you get closer to The Birth the less patient everyone becomes. This is a natural emotional transition from being pregnant to wanting to get the pregnancy over with and to meet this little person. Somewhere in the middle of phase #4, your baby has become a wee person. Yes, we all know that pregnancy is about growing a baby but once you can really feel different parts of the baby through the belly and can see it move inside something really changes in perception.
Sometime during phase #4 women also get very impatient because pregnancy can often become uncomfortable again. The baby has grown which means the uterus is pushing her lungs to the side, the heart and stomach also get pushed upward and everything feels awkward and uncomfortable.
Also women’s sleeping patterns change so that they don’t sleep as well. This is the pre-training for being aware of the baby once it’s born. Being a parent requires attention even during the night … for several years.
And then there’s this
Emotional irritability might arise again so you have to be patient. Being empathetic helps. If your male belly was as big as your pregnant partner’s how would you be feeling?
With these emotional changes happening or about to happen, it’s very important that you do not lose track of your job which is to prepare the woman’s body to give birth as well as learn birth and birth coaching skills. Here’s a simple guideline to how much time you really need to spend. If you don’t have time each day then do something every few days. Your goal is to feel that when The Birth unfolds you both will feel confident in using your skills.
- 10-15 minutes each day doing the Internal Work. This is an audio in Birthing Better Childbirth Preparation Online Course. You don’t want your woman’s body to be damaged because a big object came out her vagina that was tight.
- work through the video segments to create space inside the woman’s body. Spend 5 minutes/day doing something from those segments.
- practice the Directed Breathing …. 1 min/day; Touch Relaxation … 2 minutes/day; Communication … throughout the day.
- develop Teamwork skills, how to stay in the NOW, the Fascination Principle and practice Kate’s Cat.
Birth confidence matters
If you’re already spending a few minutes each day or too then you know that your increased skills are growing your confidence. Along with your confidence is your new ability to really understand both the 3 dimensional relationship between your baby and its mother and how giving birth will always be an exercise in plumbing … a big object has to get out!
Actually, you are now in your element as a man. You have skills to learn and perfect (don’t expect to become ‘perfect’). Men love learning practical how-to skills.
You may discover that you’ve had to use patience with your partner as you learn these skills. You might have realized that the woman you are with does NOT spontaneously understand or know her body. Whether your pregnant partner is very kinetic or not the audio Internal Work will have told you quite frankly … ‘be GENTLE’.
Developing patience now in phase #4 will serve you well over the years as your children challenge you in the many ways children do.
Look back on how you might have challenged your parents and how they exercised patience nor not.
Patience is not the same as ‘no boundaries’. Being patient is not the same as overly explaining. Being patient means that you set clear boundaries and have a reasonable expectation that your children live within those boundaries.
Patience is all about ‘breathing’. Whenever you feel your patience slipping, take a few deep breathes, relax and regain control of your emotions.