Eyes in the back of your head! This fatherhood quality does not reach its peak until your baby becomes mobile and then you’d better have this quality sorted out. When men grow their fatherhood qualities during pregnancy then they are more likely to create an intimate family based on the partnership and including the children. When men have not grown their fatherhood skills during pregnancy often women see them as ‘childlike’ once the baby is born. In the last entry we talked about two types of men/fathers … those who are very involved with their family even if they work all day and those who are disconnected.
There are basically two types of mothers/women:
- Women who once they have their children becomes ‘mothers’ first and foremost and ignore the relationship with their partner. Women who do this don’t always share their children with their partner. In fact, when women shift their attention totally to their children they often see their children’s father as being incompetent.
- Women who expand their partnership relationship by having children and the whole family works through issues, enjoys life together and lean on each other.
Fundamentally there is absolutely NO difference between women and men. Your Birthing Better Childbirth Preparation Online Course helps you understand how similar we are! Having to take care of ourselves when we live alone isn’t much different either. The differences become more obvious once we are in relationship with others … we take roles.
Every culture has men and women roles well defined and lived. In our modern societies, most families are no longer extended ones. We tend to have to rely on just one other person (our partner/spouse). Once we have children then our roles have tended to revert to the more traditional ones … women at home … men go to work.
We all know this has changed so we have to create a life that reflects that change.
The fatherhood qualities that we have been discussing are human qualities that each of us need to grow as we become a parent. We need these qualities because our children need us to have them. We also need these qualities because we are raising ‘adults’ not ‘children’ so we have to teach our young children how to become competent adults.
Hopefully you will teach both your daughter and son these qualities. Your daughter needs to know that her child’s father will grow with her. She looks to you to model a good father so she can choose a good partner. Your son needs to know how to be a father. He looks to you to be a good father model. You want your son to become a good partner and father.
Two more sets of eyes will be required in just a few weeks. Be ready.