Men don’t seem to have much of a clue as to what is expected of them and too many women seem to be angry with men for not knowing and at the same time don’t having a clue themselves as to what a good mother really is. This is obvious by how many marriages don’t last and how many single parent families there are. Is this really what we want for ourselves and our children?
Since I’ve traveled extensively among traditional cultures, I know that children can feel at home and part of a family no matter what is happening around them because in traditional societies there are often large extended families who know and care for the children. In modern societies we often have only the nuclear family and when that splits apart our children have so few others who care about them on a regular, daily basis.
Hopefully this blog will become a place of dialogue in how men can feel confident as they grow into their role of being a father. Hopefully women will also learn to grow these same qualities as they grow through pregnancy into being a mother. Women aren’t innately more caring no matter what people seem to think. Women learn to be the primary carer and are forced by pregnancy and giving birth to deeply understand their connection to ‘the other … a baby’. Cultures put the role of carer on women and women are the first teachers of all children so they teach daughters differently from sons. But all humans have the same qualities.
Hopefully families who are in the process of adopting will choose to grow these qualities as well while they are waiting for their baby so they also feel ready to start their new role as parents.
Without a dialogue, without public conversing on this very important topic we just remain alone and isolated when in fact we could reach across space and time to other human beings and grow the family of humankind.
The end of first phase of pregnancy
- This early phase truly begins once you know you are pregnant and the pregnancy will continue
- The woman you are with is going through heaps of physical and emotional changes that will impact your life.
- Your baby is changing from a fertilized egg to a recognizable human being.
- Early pregnancy is a time of tremendous and dynamic emotional changes for you as a ‘couple’.
- Your life is changed by becoming pregnant.
- You can use this very early phase to grow these qualities of fatherhood.
These are the 10 essential skills fathers-to-be should grow throughout pregnancy so they can move from the phase of ‘becoming’ a dad to ‘being’ a dad. We’ve discussed each and often from all three viewpoints: yourself, the baby and baby’s mother.
- Attention to detail
- Being able to see what needs to be done
- Growing a second set of arms
- Growing two more sets of eyes
And then something changes in pregnancy as you move into the next phase of ‘becoming’ which occurs between 12 weeks of pregnancy to 24 weeks.
Your bottom line
- Your personal growth IS as important to you, your family and society as the growth in women.
- Presently there is no recognition of this early period of pregnancy on a man’s life.
- Presently there is no recognition of the importance on families and societies on supporting and teaching men how to move through ‘becoming’ to ‘being’ a father.