Men are put in a peculiar position when faced with a pregnant partner who wants to have a VBAC. If you were present at the previous Caesarean then you have had to figure out whether it was a necessary cesarean caused by obvious and observable medical factors or whether you’re not too certain what happened. Perhaps you saw your birthing partner look and sound out of control. Perhaps the labor went on and on and she was overwhelmed and exhausted. Perhaps one thing led to another and a surgical birth became the natural conclusion of everything that came before. And you’re not the pregnant one!
Like all fathers, you do not want your partner or baby to be put at risk. Like most people, you have some degree of acceptance that your obstetrician or midwife is a highly skilled birth provider who has the best interest of the birthing woman and baby at heart. Like most men you want your wife and the mother of your children to be happy and not pissed off and angry about The Birth.
Fathers-to-be have LOTS of feelings about VBACS
- Our child almost died and now my wife wants a VBAC
- I want my wife to have a VBAC but she’s afraid
- Is a homebirth best for a VBAC?
- Is a hospital VBAC best?
- Medical issues require my wife to have a non-laboring Cesarean but she wanted a VBAC
- My partner says she’ll never get over a failed VBAC
- How can I best support my wife’s VBAC?
- What is a trial of labor for a VBAC?
- Obstetricians do want you to achieve a VBAC
- Why women want a VBAC
- My wife wants a VBAC and I’m terrified
‘Wishful thinking didn’t give my wife the birth she wanted. Without a doubt, her vbac success came from our combined birth skills … thanks to The Pink Kit Package. Skills might be very romantic but if a woman is feeling pain during a contraction, circling the White Light around it doesn’t cut the mustard. At the end of the day, it’s knowing how to breathe well.
Paul M.G …
‘My wife knew she caved during the birth of our daughter. I don’t blame her. Labor HURTS. But I didn’t know how to help her. Until The Pink Kit Package, I had absolutely no coaching skills. I just reacted to her pain. This time I kept her focused and she did it.’
Karl, Loretta and our three little ones..
Your role as a dad-to-be supporting a vaginal birth after a cesarean delivery has been UNDERVALUED until now!
- Discover why you need to ‘coach’ rather than ‘support’ your birthing partner.
- Learn the specific birth language rather than just telling her to ‘relax’ … which doesn’t work!
- Help the pregnant woman open her body for birth and give up any misconception that a woman needs strong muscles to push her baby out.
- Learn to maintain your objective skills even when she has natural pain in childbirth … keep her using her birth skills during her VBAC.
The romance of birth-coaching skills
You can feel confident about your upcoming birth rather than have fear of childbirth pain.
You must work hard to achieve a VBAC and you do not know how important your role as father-to-be is.
There are so many reasons why the pregnant woman you care about is seeking a VBAC. For whatever reason, she has a large object that must come through her birthing body. She, like all birthing women, must remain open, mobile and soft inside her birthing body.
As a father-to-be who wants to help her achieve a vaginal birth you must help her stay open, remain mobile and soft inside her body. The first step is to prepare her pregnant body.
‘We weren’t successful in having a VBAC this time but at least time we knew it was essential so we were grateful we live in a modern country. Next time we’ll succeed.
Chevron and Heidi B…
‘There was no doctor or hospital who supported our desire to have a vbac so we did the birth ourselves. The Pink Kit Package was our bible of birth preparation and the language of skills we used. We couldn’t have planned a more beautiful birth and no one could have given it to us.’
Wayne and Janice B…
Laziness can cause cesarean deliveries
As a father-to-be who supports vaginal birth after Caesarean delivery, there is no excuse for going into birth without well-learned coaching skills.
Act now. Start now. More than any other group of expectant parents, VBAC fathers-to-be and VBAC mothers-to-be must work harder to achieve their goal of a vaginal birth after Caesarean. Creating a Birth Plan and gathering information is NOT enough to have success. Creating a Skills-based Birth Plan is also important. Your obstetrician or midwife should not be responsible for giving your wife/partner the VBAC she wants. The two of you should be responsible for birthing your baby. Your birth providers should know what you are going to do during The Birth. Tell them what skills you’ve learned and practiced. Then use them.
Your partner needs her birth skills AND you need coaching skills and it takes time to learn them.
As a dad supporting a vbac you must …
- Be able to read your partner’s body language and help her reduce any INTERNAL tension … immediately.
- Be able to hear accurately whether she is using tense breathing patterns … and help instantaneously.
- Give her specific places to relax rather than using a general, meaningless term.
You will NEVER regret your decision to become a skilled father-to-be who supports a VBAC.
Birthing Better VBAC Online Birth Class skills were developed by hundreds of ordinary families many of whom were seeking a vaginal birth after a Caesarean. Fathers and mothers equally developed these skills so you’ll learn from the best … people who have used these skills.
You want success not just in achieving the VBAC but in how the two of you work together throughout your baby’s birth journey.
All Birthing Better VBAC skills were developed by hundreds of VBAC moms and dads and housed in Common Knowledge Trust.