There are so many reasons Men are reluctant to do anything when it comes to pregnancy and childbirth … there’s just an overwhelming indication throughout many societies that pregnancy and birth are Women’s Business. Why would any man know how to behave, what to do or whether their very presence is welcome in a hospital? Sure we have all sat around with a loved one but we actually don’t do much … get this or that, hold a hand, spend time and then we leave. Sitting with someone in hospital is not the same as being a highly-skilled birth-coach.
All the skills in our Birthing Better online birthing classes were equally developed by fathers as well as mothers. A shift occurred in the 1970s. Women wanted their partner to ‘be there’. How to ‘be there’ is the question. You can hang around or be skilled.
What does hanging around in a hospital birth look like:
- Trying to rub her back and often getting your hand flicked away
- Standing behind her as she has a contraction (if you have been taught any skills in childbirth preparation class most likely you’ve been positioned behind your partner is though this is the ‘best’ place to be)
- Having your hands squeezed incredibly tightly
- Being hung on
- Giving ice chips
- Wiping a brow
Most women are glad you’re there but know you’re not really helping them cope, manage and stay in control
What does a skilled birth-coaching dad look like:
- You share every inhale and exhale with your birthing partner in a way that keeps her focused and on top of her internal sensations
- You most often sit in front of her so you can have eye contact as well as see and hear when she needs your immediate help
- You know how to touch her so she softens inside her body under your touch
- You work more closely as birth intensifies
- You know how to create space inside her pelvis to resolve simple issues such as back pain, slow dilation
Do obstetricians and staff like skilled birth-coaching fathers? YES … resoundingly! We want to teach you how and give you the confidence to be a wonderful birth-coach during your baby’s birth in hospital
Birthing Better skills were developed by moms and dads in the early 1970s in the US and used by many thousands globally in all types of birth. Birthing Better online birthing classes are housed in Common Knowledge Trust.