Anxiety and Fear in pregnancy and birth
The vast majority of pregnant women (and fathers-to-be) experience some level of anxiety, concern or fear throughout pregnancy and during birth. You are not alone!
Have you read, been told or believe that you should not be afraid of birth?
Probably no one has told you that the anxiety, concern and fear you may feel constantly, frequently or infrequently is actually a Gift you need to know how to nurture and mature.
Why is concern, anxiety and fear a Gift that you need to develop? It’s simple. Your newborn cannot talk and tell you whether there is a problem or not. You have to have the skills to read the cues. Those skills develop in pregnancy. Your concern, anxiety and fears are telling you that you need to develop skills. You just don’t know how.
HOW
When you feel concern, anxiety or fear ask your self this QUESTION:
- ‘Am I or my baby going to die or be seriously injured in 5 minutes?’ If you believe the answer is ‘YES’ then seek immediate medical help. Go immediately to hospital, clinic or call an ambulance. DO NOT WAIT! Then call your midwife.
If the answer to that question is ‘no’ then ask this question:
- “Do I feel that I or my baby is going to die or be seriously injured within 12 hours?’ If the answer is ‘YES’ then seek immediate medical help. Go immediately to hospital, clinic or call an ambulance. DO NOT WAIT! Then call your midwife.
If that answer is ‘no’ to both of the above questions then ask yourself this question:
- ‘Do I feel that I or my baby make die or be seriously injured within the next period of time BEYOND 12 hours?’ If the answer is ‘YES” then call your midwife and she will advise you whether you need to seek more immediate help.
If the answer to 3 is ‘no’ then you are feeling concerned and anxious. Do one or both of these things:
- Acknowledge that you feel concerned, anxious or fearful and that you believe you still need to have heightened vigilance about the issue. DO that without shame or guilt. Either a problem will present itself or in time the concern, anxiety or fear will subside.
- If you believe you are just feeling concern, anxiety or fear without any apparent reason, that is absolutely part of developing the skills you need to differentiate between something you need to act on, observe longer or know there is no immediate threat.
You and your partner are moving from ‘becoming’ to ‘being’ a mother and father. Whether this is your first or subsequent pregnancy and birth, the Gift of Awareness grows. Every parent needs to be highly observant and be able to distinguish between a high level problem, one that needs attention soon, one that may or may not occur and when we just don’t need to worry. We shut down that growth by telling women ‘Don’t be afraid of pregnancy and birth’. Instead we need to ask the above questions so we know when to act, when to wait and observe and when we can just feel ok.
When your baby is born, just use those same questions so you can determine whether there is a ‘problem’ or just one of those anxieties we all have for no particular reason.
Pin this up where you can see it and mature your observation skills.