Surprise … giving birth is NOT a dentist’s appointment. You do not get the ‘choice’ to sit passively while a professional does something to you. You do not get to opt-out of being involved in your baby’s birth. If you are pregnant you are required by biology to do the activity of giving birth whether you have a natural birth or medical birth, whether you give birth in hospital or home or whether your birth professional is a midwife or obstetrician. No one can do the birth for you.
Keep this in mind … no matter where you birth, with whom or what happens to or around you … you are going to do the activity of birthing your child. Whether you labor and have a vaginal birth, labor and have an unplanned and unexpected Caesarean or whether you have a non-laboring cesarean. Your baby is working to be born and you have to do the activity of giving birth to your baby. That is what mothers-to-be do. That is how mothers-to-be become mothers. You move from ‘becoming’ a mother through the Gateway of giving birth to ‘being’ a mother.
What can I do?
Every mother-to-be wants to know exactly how to prepare for birth so that the birth is as safe and ease as possible. Every mother-to-be wants to know how to cope with their birth experience.
- Where do they go to learn?
- Childbirth preparation books?
- Childbirth education classes?
- Talking to friends who have given birth?
- Searching on the Internet for free online birth classes?
- How about Birth Plan templates or checklists?
The vast majority mothers-to-be still feel there’s something missing and there is!
The secret no one has told you
- You need to have the skills to prepare your pregnant body to birth your baby.
- You and your partner need great birth and birth-coaching skills for use no matter how your birth unfolds.
No one has told you that you MUST be a skilled birthing mother-to-be and skilled birth-coaching dad-to-be.
No one has given you those skills and no one has told you to make a Skills-based Birth Plan as well as your conventional Birth Plan.
Our birth skills have your back!
Birthing Better online birth classes are full of exactly those skills and better still all the skills were developed by fathers and mothers. Birthing Better families want you to know the skills they used to successfully birth their baby no matter where the birth happened or what happened to or around the birth at the time. In other words, Birthing Better families developed skills to prepare every pregnant body to birth as well as birth and birth-coaching skills so they could be skilled to birth their baby.
Think about it. Your Birth is the MOST IMPORTANT EVENT in your Life.
You can either hope for the best or become skilled and work toward:
- the best personal experience
- increased safety to yourself and baby
- greater involvement and empowerment
- feeling confident alongside feeling nervous or even terrified
- being able to WOW your obstetrician or midwife
- coping, managing, dealing with, staying on top of and in control of a very dynamic experience
- coming through The Birth with confidence as a mother
As a mother-to-be … you’re not a fool
Honestly, you do know there’s something missing in the childbirth education available to you today. Your pregnant head is full of information. You’re not only thinking about: which stroller to buy, how to prepare older siblings, how will this birth impact your finances much less all the other issues you might be facing during this pregnancy. Your head is full.
Do you have any more room in there for birth preparation skills as well as learning and practicing birth and birth-coaching skills? You’re probably thinking … ‘NO’.
Are you working? Do you have other kids? Are you taking care of your home? Are you socially busy? Is life so full that doing one more thing to prepare for the birth of your baby just seems impossible, un-doable, absolutely not going to happen or forget it?
Stop and think.
- What type of birth do you want?
- How are you going to get that birth?
- Are you relying on others to give you the birth you plan and want because that’s the job of your obstetrician or midwife?
- Do you just think women are well designed to give birth and don’t need skills?
You’re still reading this! Why? Because you absolutely KNOW there’s something missing and this post is striking a chord with you.
If all expectant mothers and fathers-to-be were just expected to learn skills to prepare for the birth of their baby as well as birth and birth-coaching skills then we won’t be talking about ‘I’m busy’. You’d just be putting aside a small amount of time to prepare for the birth of your baby and learn the birth and birth-coaching skills because that was expected. Because there’s no societal expectation to become skilled to ‘do’ birth, then we have to convince you that taking a small amount of time will lead to a HUGE benefit for you, your partner, your baby throughout your lives.
Here’s the most fundamental question is …
How important is my baby’s birth?
On a scale from 1-100, 100 being the MOST IMPORTANT how important is your baby’s birth? It’s as simple as that. If your baby’s birth is really important then you want the best for yourself and baby. You already know how important your baby’s birth is and your experience of that birth. You’re filling your head full of information to get ready. Now we’re asking you to learn physical and practical skills to prepare your pregnant body to birth your baby as well as birth and birth-coaching skills so you can work through your baby’s birth journey.
Birthing Better families are reaching out a hand to you. We’re going to talk to you in all honesty.
Everyone is impacted by the birth of a child … not just yours but your partner, your baby, family and friends. Birthing Better families know how to help you because we, mothers and fathers, developed this extensive, easy to learn, practical, usable and empowering set of skills for use in every single type of birth … yours included!
Start your physical birth preparation as close to 24 weeks as possible. You’ll have plenty of time to casually and comfortably learn all the skills and time to practice them so they integrate into your Mind/Body connection.
Birth Plans are just not enough
Answer this other question. Is choosing what your car to drive, your mechanic and route to take sufficient to have a safe journey? NO. You have to learn to drive the car! In fact, choosing what car, your mechanic and what route are your ‘plans’. Learning to drive and then driving are your skills. The former are choices … what you want and don’t want. Skills are what you use and do while you’re doing an activity. Obviously, you and others are safer the better your driving skills! Even with driving skills you never know how your journey will unfold. Stuff can happen. But you’re more likely to have a safe journey if you’ve used your skills well.
Giving birth is no different. As a mother-to-be you can’t control the birthing process any more than you can control other drivers; however, you can control your own behavior even if you have health issues, snow on the roads and your midwife can’t get to you or you can’t get to the hospital or with one of your other children is sick with no one to come and take care of them. If you have birthing skills you’ll be able to handle every challenge and you’ll be proud of how you give birth even if you didn’t get the birth you wanted, imagined, dreaded or hoped for.
Giving birth is different from driving in one profound way … it’s a one-off experience you can’t repeat the next day. You get one chance. A conventional Birth Plan is not enough. You need a Skills-based Birth Plan too. You and your partner and preferably your obstetrician, midwife or doula should know what skills they will see you use and how to encourage you to use them.
No mother-to-be can plan their birth. There is absolutely no way to know what your birth will be like, but your pregnancy will end one day with you doing the activity of giving birth. You’re not merely a participant. You are doing the activity along with the activity your baby is doing. You’re giving birth. Your baby is being born.
As a mother-to-be without the right childbirth skills and know-how-to prepare your pregnant body to become a birthing body, your birth will ‘happen’ to you. When you are skilled as a birthing woman, you will know how-to work with your baby’s efforts to be born and feel proud of doing that.
Childbirth skills make the difference
You need the specific childbirth skills to do this activity of giving birth with as little suffering or trauma as possible in whatever birth you have. These are some of the skills you need:
- breathing and relaxation skills
- the ability to create space in your pelvis
- best non-verbal and verbal communication
- touch used as a ‘cue’ to relax
- being able to read contractions so you can adjust your positions appropriately
- ways to use skills when having medical interventions
- how to couple your mind/body through internal mental choices
- and more
Most pregnant women would like to trust this natural process of giving birth without fear even if they require medical care. It’s very hard for any mother-to-be to ‘trust’ a process that you know could be very painful. The right childbirth skills help you manage the natural pain of labor as well as help you get through whatever type of birth you end up having.
Birth and birth-coaching skills are essential just like your driving skills. Birth and birth-coaching skills help you in a profound way to make the move from becoming a mother and father to being a competent, capable and empowered mom and dad.
Non-laboring Cesarean expectant mother-to-be
In this case, just enjoy preparing your pregnant body to give birth … many Birthing Better families have. It’s your head that knows you’ll have a Cesarean, not your pregnant body. Your body and hormones are still preparing for labor and vaginal birth. Your head knows differently but you can totally be as engaged and involved.
Why not enjoy using the Birthing Better childbirth skills on the way to hospital, while being prepped, and during the surgical birth of your child? The birth of your baby is just as important to you. Now you can totally enjoy the birthing experience by using your skills.
Every mother-to-be wants to have wonderful birth memories whether you have a planned Cesarean or unassisted birth … and all the other types of births. Every new mother wants to tell a great Birth Story.
Birthing Better families put together a full system of skills that will help you achieve a truly positive birth experience … this is what all mothers-to-be want. Birthing Better online birthing classes are housed in Common Knowledge Trust