Who exactly are Obstetricians? Well, they are someone’s brother or sister; mother or fathers: relative or friend; son or daughter. That’s who they are. They studied, learned skills around women’s health issues, pregnancy and birth.
They can be very considerate and pretty rigid but that’s life. They can stick to the ‘standards of care, evidence-based practice and guidelines of practice’ or be quite flexible. They are human beings with experience and beliefs.
Who are you as a pregnant woman? Someone’s daughter, friend, mother, auntie or relative. You are seeking out an Obstetrician for whatever reason.
What should you expect from your Obstetrician in your hospital birth?
- They come in and check then leave then come in for the birth. The vast majority of the time, no one will be in the room with you except your partner/other.
- Staff labor and delivery nurses or midwives will come in and do assessments, monitoring and some procedures on a schedule. Find out how often. They, too, will leave you alone.
- You will have assessments, monitoring and perhaps some procedures
Through all of this, you (pregnant woman) and only YOU are going to do the ‘activity’ of birthing your baby. Do you have any power at all? Yes.
Some suggest your power comes from making a Birth Plan and telling your Ob what you want and don’t want. But here’s the reality … there is no way to know what your birth will be like. And, your Ob has a far greater responsibility to the ‘standards of care’ than to you as one person
Our New Zealand not-for-profit, www.commonknowledgetrust.org holds all the Birthing Better skills that hundreds of fathers and mothers developed in the US in the early 1970s when there were ZERO choices available. We admitted that 100% of pregnant women will give birth one way or another. And, that ‘giving’ birth is an ACTIVITY each woman does with her baby.
We decided having great skills could help us do the ‘activity’ better no matter how our birth unfolded, no matter that we were in hospital, no matter than we had an Obstetrician, no matter what happened to or around us at our hospital birth.
How did we do? A whole lot better than if we lacked skills. There’s no comparison!
How did our Obstetrician deal with our skills? Many didn’t care or want to know. After all, there’s no way to know what your birth will be like and Obstetricians know that. Don’t get discouraged. No Obstetrician is doing your birth. It’s your activity! You should be skilled to do it as best you can.
If you have risks and want a natural hospital birth your skills can make the difference between achieving one, being able to negotiate because you’re coping, manage well, deal with, handle, work through, stay on top of and feel in control throughout the activity you are doing.
Consider ‘choices’ not so much about what you want from your Obstetrician, but what you will do to do the ‘activity’ of birthing your baby.
As skilled families we worked with and alongside all the birth assessments, monitoring and procedures thrown at us and rocked it!