Calling all fathers-to-be – There is an old saying which goes something like this: ‘You’re either pregnant or not’. Unfortunately, there is no middle-ground – once you impregnate a woman you are 100% going to be a father. So now you have a choice; either enter into Step 1 of this 12 Step Hero’s Journey and learn all the ins-and-outs of becoming a father, or don’t!
One thing is clear: You either entered into pregnancy as a willing man or you . . . .ooops! Either way, you are now on your journey in pregnancy, birth and raising a child – this is not just a journey for the woman.
Yes, of course, disaster does strike and women can miscarry or willingly choose to terminate the pregnancy. But while she is pregnant you are ‘becoming’, and if the pregnancy continues there is no turning back.
Step1: From Conception to Birth
Especially relevant …
- You are existing in a so-called ‘ordinary world’ wherein woman becoming pregnant is really something magical.
- You have ‘limited awareness of the issues’. Thus, the first 12 weeks is sort of a “duh-say-what?” period. You have no clue what’s going on.
What do these characteristics of Step #1 mean? Let me list the ways:
- Your partner might discover she is pregnant very quickly with new pee strips or not for weeks. Everything is in flux. That’s a big ‘Duh’
- Happy, feeling weird, not happy? Yeh or Urgh.
- Does your partner suddenly change in ways you don’t understand? WTF. Welcome to Step #1 of your Hero’s Journey pregnancy through birth.
Lucky for you that birth doesn’t occur within 24 hours of conception. You get 9 months to take this Journey. We’re here to guide you.
BTW … There are 5 Phases to every pregnancy
Those original Birthing Better fathers developed all the phenomenal and practical skills to:
- Prepare the woman’s pregnant body to give birth
- A whole bunch of birth and birth-coaching skills
- The 10 skills you need to develop from conception to birth.
Developing the 10 skills during the 5 phases of a pregnancy will reduce the ‘duh’ and help you even in Step #1 of your Hero’s Journey.
It’s ok to have ‘limited awareness’
Don’t resist! Don’t feel shame. Don’t feel weird. Everyone … you and your partner both start at Step 1. She’s taking her Heroine’s Journey to become a mother, and you do not need to be in lockstep on this journey at this time. You will both move through this Journey at a different pace, and that’s perfectly normal. The goal is to come together in the later steps and during your baby’s birth so you can parent and partner well.
Your role is as important, it’s just different
You become a Hero to:
- Help your partner navigate through her maze of carrying your baby inside her.
- Help your partner prepare for the birth of your baby.
- Work through the birth that moves your baby from inside her body to outside.
- Care for your child in the same way the mother will. . . YES, you have do!
You might feel skeptical and resistant to that last bullet point, but remember there are many single dads. And there are many dads who co-partner because both parents are working. In other words, parenting becomes an equal endeavor while pregnancy and birth are the venues of Women. However, your thoughts, words, and actions in our modern societies play a very significant role during pregnancy and birth. So significant that you are now taking Step 1 of your Hero’s Journey.
Birthing Better Childbirth Preparation online courses are housed in Common Knowledge Trust