Pregnancy and birth are transforming, BIG, significant, life-changing, dramatic, exciting, fear-inducing, challenging, delightful, remarkable. Pretty much every big word can be associated with pregnancy and birth … even for men! You’re just more invisible and last in line behind your baby and pregnant partner. You’ve felt that way and why we’re inviting you to be embraced by Birthing Better fathers through the Conception to The Birth 10 Skills
Everything about pregnancy and birth is the biggest thing in the whole wide world. There’s nothing like it. This inevitability can cause you to feel skeptical and just don’t want to go down this path. You liked your familiar life that has now been turned upside down with the constant changes going on with your pregnant partner.
Characteristics of Step #3 …16-20 weeks pregnancy
Especially relevant …
- Simply put, men/fathers-to-be get ‘skeptical’
- In your ‘ordinary world,’ you just plan ‘refuse the call’
- And are ‘reluctant to change’
It’s that simple. After all, isn’t ‘birth women’s business? You’ve survived the first 12 weeks when pregnancy just smacks you in the face, reality gets real, your partner changes in unexpected ways and a burden mixed with lots of diverse emotions settle into your stomach.
What’s going on now
At least by 16 weeks, your partner is probably feeling better and you can feel the uterus although not your baby and the uterus has even gotten as high as her belly button. Her breasts have changed. What do you think of those? From 16-20 weeks things are settling down quite a bit. You’ve found an obstetrician or midwife, probably had a scan, know whether you’re having a girl or boy if you wanted to know and your partner now proudly ‘looks’ pregnant rather than just feeling fat. That’s a WHEW! Sometimes it’s hard to compliment a pregnant woman before she ‘shows’. She just feels fat as her clothes get harder to get into.
You find yourself caught between ‘yes’ and ‘no’
We all pull back, get reluctant and just plain don’t want to change. What we know is familiar with what we don’t know is bewildering, exciting and scary so we resist. We don’t see how we can become someone else and we’re not certain we want to take the risks. But pregnancy is going to push you no matter how stupidly you plant your heels and yell ‘Hell no I won’t go!’
Your Hero’s Journey pushes you on … you can stay in Step #3 for just so long and then you have to take another step.
You just might have thought your Hero’s Journey was Star Trek, James Bond, Slaying Dragons or Magic Prince. Sorry … no one told you that pregnancy and The Birth of your baby is the Greatest Hero Journey you will ever, ever take. Now you have to change.
Remember to delve into the 10 skills from conception to birth