Somehow pregnancy just has a way of moving along due to a simple fact … there’s a biological mandate. You’re now 16-20 weeks into your pregnancy. Your baby is on a fast track to grow,  although early in pregnancy you can’t see that growth or don’t even feel your baby move. In Step #3  … approximately between 16-20 weeks … pregnancy begins to take a big turn. You ‘show’. Even strangers can see your pregnancy. You’re probably feeling pretty good. Yet you’re about four months+ pregnant and you can’t feel your baby move yet. You’re halfway through your pregnancy by 20 weeks but The Birth is not yet in your scope. You’ve probably seen your birth provider a few times, had one or more ultra-sounds, heard your baby’s heartbeat and can see your baby really begin to look like a baby. Physically this is a really good time in pregnancy for most women.  It seems like your body is making some change each day.

Characteristics of Step #3

Pregnancy itself requires huge change,  the good, bad, beautiful and ugly. We find ourselves embracing and rejecting all these changes because they feel so out of our control. And as for The Birth … we all know ‘there’s no way to know what our birth will be like’ but right now The Birth seems a long way off.

These are the qualities:

  • You remain in the ‘ordinary world’
  • Rather than the ‘call to adventure’ in step #2 you hit that first wall … ‘reluctance to change’.
  • Consequently, you meet face to face with ‘refusal to the call’

Like all monumental journeys in life, we come face to face with our own reluctance to change even when we absolutely know that the journey will carry us forward. Whether we drag our feet or jump in with excitement we all experience a reluctance to change. This really easy part of pregnancy 16-20 weeks can mean your ‘reluctance to change’ and ‘refusal to the call’ comes from just a lack of interest and getting on with life.

Familiar is safe

Most noteworthy you know who you are and remaining with the familiar is a safe space even if you want to change. We all know that too often we remain with the familiar even when we absolutely know we must shift. This period of 16-20 weeks of pregnancy begins to feel familiar and nothing is pushing you to shift.

Although you recognize these Heroine steps in every good story you’ve read or movie you’ve seen, many people do not experience constant personal transformation. We ebb and flow through our reluctance to change with being willing to do so. Consequently,  this is one of the steps where people either stop or halt their journey. You can’t. You’re pregnant and as your pregnancy marches along toward the birth.  After birth, you’ll be faced with the rapid growth of your newborn into a baby, toddler, school age, teen and adult son or daughter!

Therefore you are as biologically mandated to take journey onward just as your baby is. But right now Step #3 is where you are … clinging to or being comfortable with what you know, who you are and consequently feeling like you want to pull back and opt for a ‘refusal to the call’.


Mothers-to-be Pregnancy Academy