Boy, birth is getting closer. Between 28-30 weeks of pregnancy is still pretty mellow time. Most women are still feeling good. If there are any concerns about her health or your baby, then there will be increased monitoring, assessing and perhaps procedures. This can cause anxiety. Your baby is doing another growth spurt like right after conception to 12 weeks. This time you can feel the growth of both your baby and your partner’s belly. You may be making a Birth Plan or things might be so up in the air that ‘choices’ already feel fragile. Your partner is seeing your obstetrician or midwife every month and she is probably reading heaps and wanting you to get involved.
Characteristics Step #7 … preparing for big change
Especially relevant …
- you are ‘approaching the situation’ (Birth)
- and are ‘preparing for big change’. (Birth and fatherhood)
- you still exist in the ‘special world’ (It’s pretty surreal)
Step #7 means you are beginning to see The Birth approach rather than just being involved with pregnancy. If you’ve had kids before this is an exciting time because you know your unborn babies are those kids you have. They take a lot of work but boy they bring joy and excitement in life. If this is your first it’s all unknown and unfolding moment-to-moment.
What are we talking about?
The word ‘birth’ is both a noun such as:
- ‘Our birth is right around the corner’
- ‘We want to have a vaginal birth’
- ‘We’re going to have a hospital birth‘
- ‘I found birth easy/hard/wonderful/horrible/short/long
- ‘I didn’t know how to help my partner during the birth’
And the word ‘birth’ is also a verb such as:
- YOU FILL IN HOW ‘BIRTH’ IS A VERB!
It’s hard.
- ‘My friend is giving birth now’ … the word ‘giving’ is the verb and birth is the object or is giving birth an active verb as a phrase? What in the world does ‘giving’ mean in connection to birth? That’s such a nebulous word compared to the hard work and effort of ‘doing’ the birth!
- Women have to ‘do’ the activity of giving birth. ‘Do’ isn’t any stronger word than ‘giving’.
- Labor … now that’s a word that implies ‘work’.
- Caesarean … that seems so passive but it’s a common type of birth so how can we make it an ‘activity’ the woman does? It’s simple: driving to hospital, while being prepped and during surgery. That’s called ‘Time’.
100% of pregnant women have to give birth one way or another. Unless a woman is unconscious she has to fill the Time it takes from start to finish of the birth.Time is what you and she fill with ‘doing’ things.
Because we use birth most often as a noun, it’s really challenging for you to know what to do as you ‘approach the situation’ and ‘prepare for change’. But this Step 7 is a wonderful step when you continue to learn birth and birth-coaching skills. Everyone loves being skilled … you included!
Pregnancy and birth can leave men feeling like an outsider
We don’t want you to feel that way. You blink, cough and can tight up ‘down there’ just like your pregnant partner. Those three are ‘actions’ or ‘doing’ but most don’t require skills. Driving a vehicle requires skills. You had to learn, practice and then show someone that you were competent.
When you learn the universal skills contained in Birthing Better then you can find a place inside yourself that you can always tap into. This is what Birthing Better dads want to give you, the universal skills that fit into your own life yet become a foundation for this incredibly dynamic activity in your life. A Hero is a beautiful place for a man, husband/partner, and father to be!
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