“It’s been quite a few months since we’ve emailed -hopefully you’ll remember me. I’m sorry we lost touch towards the end of my pregnancy. I got really bad sciatica in the last weeks, and was not up to much after that. Anyway, I remember promising to give you some feedback on the new material and perhaps you’d like to hear about my birth story as well?! It’s strange, but the birth details are fading a bit (and the memories of the pain!) yet I will try to remember what could be interesting to you.
Needless to say we’ve had our baby, Christian, who is absolutely gorgeous and a joy, and we feel so blessed to have him. Even if the birth didn’t go quite as planned, the outcome made everything so worthwhile. I think you love your baby so much the minute that you see them, that any disappointment with the birth is completely overshadowed. Which doesn’t mean that you don’t want things differently next time or learnt greatly from the experience.
My birth really was a mixed bag. My labour was 11 ½ hours in total and intense from the very contraction (I think I drank too much raspberry leaf tea in the last weeks!). I laboured at home with my husband for the first 6 hours. The labour was strong but bearable, and I was able to adjust to the increasing intensity. I changed positions a lot (not really thinking about what was keeping me open but just doing what made me feel better), and got some relief from the TENS machine and hot water bottle, and most of all, really concentrated on my breathing and letting go with each contraction. Time just flew by. By the time we got to hospital I was 7-8cms and of course thrilled about that (nearly there!). Then the contractions started getting pretty heavy, I still moved about, breathed, but found it much harder to concentrate. I had wanted to use the birthing pool, which was occupied, and that was a big disappointment. Suddenly I found the contractions overwhelming. Begging for another internal examination I was 9cms, where I became “stuck” for about an hour, during which time I wanted to push but was not allowed to. That was terribly hard. My husband and I did the Sit-Bone spread, which eased some discomfort, but really we should have been doing the Hip lift and Sacral manouevre!! That’s where the “auto-pilot” should’ve kicked in…with the breaking of my waters I finally got to fully dilated and then the pain with the contractions became unbearable. Now finally being able to push, I found myself unable to push with the contraction. Each contraction caused an unbearable cramping in myrectum. Everything felt like it was being clenched and I simply could not relax in that area (and I thought that I had practice the internal work, by myself, so well…). And then I lost the breathing and became desperate and needed an epidural. Unfortunately, 10 minutes after I had the epidural the baby’s heart rate dropped and I required an instrumental delivery. The baby came out fine, screaming and pink, and my husband and I were just blown away at how quickly everything had happened.
The point of this story being: I had not expected 2nd stage to be so difficult and for this cramping sensation, which I believe made me completely tighten my pelvic muscles, which probably made the pain worse.
First of all to say that I thoroughly enjoyed the Pink Kit and felt that it did help me stay focused with most of the labour, ie. 1st stage. The material was science-based yet intuitive and just made plain sense.
I enjoyed “getting in touch” with my body (esp internal work) and feeling that I was preparing myself for the upcoming birth and equipping myself with as many skills as possible.
In terms of the material I thought that the essential preparations and video were a bit difficult to understand (I had to watch the video many times to finally understand everything), but nonetheless useful and definitely got you in touch with your body. I thought the Managing Skills and Companion Guide were fantastic. MS for the tips and suggestions and what to expect in very honest language. It gave a good idea of how the pain and labour might be, and through the stories gave you an idea of how you and your partner might work together. CG highlighted the main points and helped to reiterate all the important information in a nutshell. I used it to brush up on what I had learnt in the last weeks, just to enforce the manouevres. Kate’s Cat is great and I really felt my sacrum opening when I practiced it. The NF was especially useful for practicing the breathing, although I didn’t do the exercises for language and touch (I found it difficult to sit down with my partner and do the exercises). Which brings me to the point that I think the Pink Kit works best when you’re partner/birthing companion is 100% involved.
Although my husband was very keen on helping me through labour, he was not so committed to practicing the skills regularly, so when it came to the birth and I was in the throes of labour (and not coping), he became emotionally so involved that the skills were forgotten as they weren’t second nature. Before the birth I felt that if I knew the material, I would be able to use it throughout the labour and/or advise my husband on how to help me. Little did I know that when the labour pain gets so strong that it took over all my thinking, I was no longer capable of giving orders or ask for what I needed!! Without passing on blame, I feel that at that point I really needed my partner to take over and be strong, to have guided me through the contractions, one at a time, be the rational, objective one. Hard to do when you see your loved one struggling so much.
My advice for other couples: practice make perfect!
I hope that you don’t mind me sharing the details of my birth (it feels great and emotional to have it down in writing. Please let me know if you need more feedback from me or have any questions.
Thank you for offering such a great service to women and their partners.
Many regards,
Annette