Working With Your Doula
Doula … The New Midwife?
We have more professionals involved with us during pregnancy and childbirth than in any other part of our lives. … Obstetrician, GP, Nurse Midwife (CNM) and Obstetrical Nurse, Direct Entry Midwife, Lay Midwife, Childbirth Educator (CBE) and now Doula. Every birth professional can help in their own way. The important thing to remember is that none of them can give birth for you, nor be your best birth coach. Who’s going to do the parenting? You are, and so will your husband or partner.
So, you and your husband or partner need great birth skills and birth coaching skills. Your doula can become part of your birth team but do not rely on her to teach you how to birth or how to be a great birth coach.
As mothers-to-be and fathers-to-be, friends, or relatives we come to childbirth with a disadvantage … little exposure to other births. Most expectant parents have not seen or been to many births. Pregnant women and dads-to-be rarely experience birth except for their own children.
As expectant parents, you’ll grow your bond as a family when you learn the childbirth skills to work together to help your baby be born.
Childbirth pain is a reality. A doula can be part of your birth team but should never replace your capabilities.
‘At first I thought our doula was going to do more than she did. Thankfully she got us The Pink Kit Package and told us this was what she expected us to learn. She made us write two Birth Plans … the conventional one and the second one about how we were preparing for birth and what skills she could expect to see us use. We will always be grateful to her for not coming between us as parents’.
Pamela and Trevor D ...
‘After 5 years, the doula we had at our two births quit. She was exhausted from people like us relying on her too much. Thanks to the pink kit, my husband and I took much more responsibility at our next birth. I wish she had given it to us.’
Martha and James Z …
Your Doula will appreciate your ability to cope with labour pain. Your doula is frosting on your cake, an added helper. Delight your doula and teach her about your body – don’t expect her to teach you about yours.
The Pink Kit is now known as Birthing Better. Birthing Better skills were developed by hundreds of dads and moms in the early 1970s and used in every type of birth. Birthing Better is housed in Common Knowledge Trust and available to you in online birth class.
Just keep in mind, your doula is not doing your birth. Without skills, you’ll rely on her. With skills, she’ll work together with you.