BirthingBetter Hero’s Journey/Fathers-to-be
- ORDINARY WORLD Limited awareness of problem (Ordinary world) … early stages of pregnancy, never thought about birth before, believe OB/midwife will take care of you
- ORDINARY WORLD Increased awareness (Call to adventure) … told to make a Birth Plan of what you want/don’t want, pregnancy progresses, given birth before, start to listen to stories and do research.
- ORDINARY WORLD Reluctance to change (Refusal of the Call).. previous c/s and don’t think you can try for a vaginal birth; ok with OB/midwife taking care of you; don’t have any time; willing to trust in whatever
- ORDINARY WORLD Overcoming reluctance (Meeting the mentor) … realising you are the only one doing the birth, want to improve previous experience, doing more research, being more proactive in what you want (skills missing so people not thinking ‘I’ll learn skills in order to ‘do’ this experience’ no matter where); inspired by an author or other person’s birth story, finding skills-based resource that fill in the gaps you have about your capacity to ‘do’ the birth, joining group of like minded people.
- SPECIAL WORLD: Committing to change (Crossing the threshold)… pregnancy advances, committed to becoming skilled or focused more on ideological belief about birth and willing to trust in that belief as the pathway to success.
- SPECIAL WORLD Experimenting with first change (Tests, allies and enemies) … Choices may not be available or change unexpectedly but committed to using skills no matter what; doubling down on integrating and practicing the skills; realise that positive birth is in your ability and ability alone; realise no one can ‘do’ it for you.
- SPECIAL WORLD Preparing for a big change (Approach the inmost cave) … Really working with partner as a skilled team; using your skills whenever you feel anxious, nervous, have tests or discomfort; imagining diverse birth scenarios and seeing yourself using skills in all of them to your own satisfaction. feeling more prepared to meet the challenge of this life transforming activity.
- SPECIAL WORLD Attempting a big change (Ordeal) … Birth is upon you unfolding in ways you could not have planned; choosing to use skills but not certain you can when pain becomes more challenging, you have more ‘interventions’ than you wanted; situations change that unsettle you; faced with type of birth that ideologically offends you but willing to give skills a chance but still skeptical.
- SPECIAL WORLD Consequences of the attempt either improvements or setbacks (Reward or failure … seize the sword) .. Choice to double down with the skills because birth is unfolding no matter where, with whom or what is happening; struggling with becoming passive and not using skills; getting support from birth-coaching to dig in and double down using skills; struggle with I can’t with I’m going to use x,y,z skill no matter what ‘this is my baby’s birth and I’m going to ‘do’ it well’)
- ORDINARY WORLD Rededication to change (Road back) … No matter how tough it is you continue to use your skills; no matter how hard it is to get the birthing woman to use skills you keep at her because you know this activity will be over with and you have to look back on your own behaviours and how you acted, coped, managed, dealt with, handled, stayed on top of and in control. After the birth you want to say: ‘I did it’ or ‘I’m so proud of myself’ rather than ‘I’m just so glad it’s over’ or ‘I behaved horribly’ . Partner … ‘I really helped and stayed on task no matter what was going on’ or ‘she knew I helped’ or ‘I’m so proud of what we did together’
- ORDINARY WORLD Final attempt at a big change (Resurrection) … I did it even though x,y.z was not what I wanted or imagined.
- ORDINARY WORLD Final mastery of the problem (Return with the Elixir) .. No matter what your hopes, wishes and plans for your birth were you have now skilfully birthed your baby through the reality of how your birth actually unfolded.
